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Literature Text
Should I let go?
By:Tharangi Fernando
I am lost without you,
I have never felt so alone,
But I have never felt to independent,
I am myself,
Should I let go of you?
To be myself,
To feel like me,
To feel independent,
You were the one I loved,
But now you are gone,
People tell me to let go,
But I can't ,
Letting go of you is letting go of my life,
I will be nothing without you,
Yet I feel so independent,
Is letting go of you the right thing?
Will I be happier?
Yes, I believe letting go is what I should do,
This is what you want right?
Yes I will let go,
I will be independent,
But I'll never forget you.
By:Tharangi Fernando
I am lost without you,
I have never felt so alone,
But I have never felt to independent,
I am myself,
Should I let go of you?
To be myself,
To feel like me,
To feel independent,
You were the one I loved,
But now you are gone,
People tell me to let go,
But I can't ,
Letting go of you is letting go of my life,
I will be nothing without you,
Yet I feel so independent,
Is letting go of you the right thing?
Will I be happier?
Yes, I believe letting go is what I should do,
This is what you want right?
Yes I will let go,
I will be independent,
But I'll never forget you.
this is all about losing a loved one and you dont want to let go but u know u have to its for the best and you just have to move on and smile at what ever the day throws at you
© 2012 - 2024 lilandy676
Comments8
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I am going to give you the low down on what I have seen in not only this poem, but a mass of them.
1) You can really show emotion well. This is great so do not try to change it.
2) You are a simple word poet. In other words you just straight on talk without having that flourishful language. This gives you a sense of uniqueness.
These are greats things that you should try to keep with you unless you want to change them.
These are some things you may want to work on;
1) You speak on the same topics. I have seen many pieces dedicated to just one topic. This is fine. Although they seem to get repetitive. Try being more original and colorful when you speak on a subject more than once.
2) Your formats are very similar. Again, not a bug deal but it may bore someone who is looking through your gallery/manuscript.
3) You use many words over and over again. Now this is common in Simple Word pieces but I do suggest trying to avoid this at all cost because it does turn off some readers.
4) Learn to use your grammar and spelling to your advantage. This means that you should try to construct decent replies to comments and other things of that nature. Why? Because others will respect you as a colleague and not as an amateur. This is important because I know you want to get published
You do not need to change for them, just earn their respect.
For my critique on my actual piece;
I love the way you could connect to your audience. It was very refreshing. Very simplistic, which also made it sweet. I would go back and fix punctuation, capitalization, and stuff like that though. Make it a little more professional looking.
Great piece
1) You can really show emotion well. This is great so do not try to change it.
2) You are a simple word poet. In other words you just straight on talk without having that flourishful language. This gives you a sense of uniqueness.
These are greats things that you should try to keep with you unless you want to change them.
These are some things you may want to work on;
1) You speak on the same topics. I have seen many pieces dedicated to just one topic. This is fine. Although they seem to get repetitive. Try being more original and colorful when you speak on a subject more than once.
2) Your formats are very similar. Again, not a bug deal but it may bore someone who is looking through your gallery/manuscript.
3) You use many words over and over again. Now this is common in Simple Word pieces but I do suggest trying to avoid this at all cost because it does turn off some readers.
4) Learn to use your grammar and spelling to your advantage. This means that you should try to construct decent replies to comments and other things of that nature. Why? Because others will respect you as a colleague and not as an amateur. This is important because I know you want to get published
You do not need to change for them, just earn their respect. For my critique on my actual piece;
I love the way you could connect to your audience. It was very refreshing. Very simplistic, which also made it sweet. I would go back and fix punctuation, capitalization, and stuff like that though. Make it a little more professional looking.
Great piece